English proverb of the day

"The negative side of the American Dream comes when people pursue success at any cost, which in turn destroys the vision and the dream "

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  • Topic of this Week: "EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCE (August 25, 2019)"

    People often confuse independence  with the ability to feed themselves only. In actual reality,  independence doesn’t necessarily mean being emotionally independent.
    So what is emotional dependence? To put it simply, emotional dependence  just as dangerous as drug addiction; hard as you may try, you fail to  give up a partner who mistreat you or your emotional state depends a lot  on how others treat you.
    I used to hear of a female professor,  who failed to abandon her husband although he beat her often. Later, I  learned that in the past, her father left his wife and his children, for  which she partly blamed herself. The break-up with the first husband  confirmed her feeling that she was not worth being loved. I am convinced  that her situation where the emotional independence has been long lost,  is obvious due to her troubled past experience.
    We can see many  other cases of emotional dependence in our real life. Some people never  cease to moan about being uncared for or spend hours longing for  messages from boyfriends or girlfriends without focusing on their study  or work. Also, some people easily lose temper at their colleagues’  feedback however constructive the comments are. When our emotional  states are vulnerable to any external forces, our life will be flung  into the world of turbulence where peace and happiness are never to be  found.
    What do you think? Come to Advance Hanoi this Sunday to voice your opinion and have fruitful discussion.

    1. What is emotional dependence in your own words? Give some examples of emotional dependence you know.
    2. How many types of emotional dependence are there? What type does great harm to your love life and career path?
    3. What are signs of emotional dependence?
    4. What are the causes of emotional dependence? To what extent does fear play a part in provoking emotional dependence?
    5. How can we achieve emotional independence?


    Prepared by: May Ng



    Enjoy and have a fruitful discussion! 

    See you on Sunday at 3 P.M.!


    Advance English club
    Address: Nguyen Cong Tru Secondary School – No. 8 Nguyen Truong To, Hanoi

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    (06:52:20 AM 04/04/2014)

     I sometimes browse through Twitter looking at things with the #English hash tag to re-tweet out to my followers. Today I came across this one:

    I clicked on the link, and found pretty much what I expected to find: a list of mistakes that English speakers make in written English. These are precisely the kind of points I used to teach to my American high school students.

    But these are NOT the mistakes that English learners need to focus on.

    The lists of English mistakes you read about in these lists come from writing and grammar teachers' frustrations with the writing of native students. Native students already know a language that they call "English". But their teachers have this other language that's also called "English" but is really a totally different form of the language. It's the form that is meant for formal written communication, and it's about 20-30 years out of date with the form that's actually used for written communication in the business world.

    So these mistakes are meant to point out the difference between Spoken English (which the students already know) and Essay English (which the teachers want them to learn).  Some of the favorite examples are:

    • lie / lay
    • they're / their / there
    • immigrate / emigrate

    The problems that English learners have are entirely different. The mistakes that they need to be pointed to are the ones where the language doesn't work the way that it seems like it should. Here are a few examples that I have noticed time and time again:

    • delicious - The word "delicious" isn't the most common word to describe tasty food. It's more common to say that food was "good".
    • so - "So" is usually used in a positive sense: "That's so great!" In negative sentences, it's better to use "not that", "not too", or "not very": "The speech wasn't that long. It wasn't too difficult to understand. It wasn't very interesting."
    • explain - "Explain" doesn't require a preposition afterwards: use "explain something", not "explain about something".

    The problem with teaching the native-speaker mistakes to English learners is that it can lead to speaking and writing that is far too formal. I often read something written by someone who obviously put a lot of classroom and textbook hours into their learning and think, "That sounds great - if you're talking to a robot." Of course, I try to make my comments a little more constructive than that, but the point is that overly formal languagecan make it hard for a person to cope in casual speech environments or to make social connections with other English speakers.

    So next time you see one of these lists of mistakes, take a minute and think about who it's really for.



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